It had to happen. That's right, it's quintessential audience interaction day! Or to put it another way, it's time for a re-think.
What with me branching out into the vlogosphere, I'm getting my thinking cap on in the direction of a complete design overhaul. That's right, Surface of the Sun is going to be re-designed with a brand new layout for the modern man and/or woman. Georgia's out, and that'll probably mean Helvetica is in, but enough of this talk of fonts, I'm looking to create a more visually appealing and functional site for you lot to have a lovely little browse on.
The thing is, I can't get started until I've had some input from you lot. What parts of the site do you like best, and what other features would you like to see? A homepage for example? An immediate link to my latest blog entry/video?
The fate of the site rests in your keyboard, so get cracking!*
Better still, if you know anyone with experience in this sort of thing, get them to drop me a line: alexolney@surfaceofthesun.co.uk
*Don't actually crack your keyboard, tithead
25 February 2011
22 February 2011
5000 Views
Five thousand hits. My blog has received five thousand hits? I'd scarcely believe it myself if I hadn't been monitoring the progress since I made it, but nevertheless, it's arrived. A real milestone in my eyes. The fact that there have been five thousand occasions where someone has clicked on a link that I made staggers me, and I couldn't have done it without you lot. At least, not without an auto-refreshing script and no consideration for my pride.
In honour of this, I'm pleased to announce a new direction for Surface of the Sun in the form of vlogging (that's video blogging, oh I'm so witty). Don't worry, a majority of the updates will still be your good old fashioned text form, but every so often I'll treat you all to a lovely poor-quality vid.
You lucky sorts you.
Anyway, here's the first of what could be many videos I'll be making for this. Enjoy.
*Third 'S' not available in any countries
In honour of this, I'm pleased to announce a new direction for Surface of the Sun in the form of vlogging (that's video blogging, oh I'm so witty). Don't worry, a majority of the updates will still be your good old fashioned text form, but every so often I'll treat you all to a lovely poor-quality vid.
You lucky sorts you.
Anyway, here's the first of what could be many videos I'll be making for this. Enjoy.
*Third 'S' not available in any countries
14 February 2011
Celebrate Good Times
It's that time of year. Every couple are exchanging romantic presents (read: a teddy bear holding a heart) and expressing just how they feel about one another. Nice, isn't it? Even as a single man I do enjoy how this one days brings people together, despite all of the commercialisation of it. I can understand why people get angry over how tacky most celebrations seem to have become, but no-one is forcing you to buy any of this tat, you buy it on your own accord. What's stopping you, say, making a handmade card? Unless you don't have hands, in which case you can make them a footmade card. Now that's dedication. There are so many different ways you can express your love to someone* (or something), so be a little bit different.
To celebrate the death of St. Valentine (that's right, he died on this day), I've rooted through records and peeked under rugs for all of the events that have fallen out of tradition in modern society, so we can start reliving the good old celebrations of yore. Aren't I lovely?
Harrington Sunday (2nd Sunday of July)
Named after sir Harrington Harrington, Harrington Sunday is the one day of the year which is dedicated to the recycling of all organic and synthetic mucus. For one day a year, the descendants of sir Harrington collect the nation's mucus, and turn it into a delicious and nutritious broth, to be served to anyone who wishes for it. The ceremony was sadly dropped after NHS reports deemed the practice 'unhygienic'.
Postman's Day (26th January)
In years gone by, it was customary on this date for the people of Wales to be conscripted into the role of postmen and postladies, and to deliver small gifts to their leader, Lord Cardiff. Cardiff has of course passed on since this tradition was exercised, and so did the celebrations. The Welsh are now free to do as they please on this day.
Dilworthering (3rd October)
On this merry day, it was (and still is in certain parts of Lancashire) traditional to approach young and attractive strangers in the street and engage in sexual congress in the traditional Dilworthian way (on a tandem). Memories of this day ring clearly in the minds of famous persons such as the Duke of Wellington, Frank Sinatra, and of course Anubis, god of the afterlife.
Blarmalade Blunday (5th Monday of November)
Almost unheard of these days, Blarmalade Blunday is the anniversary of one of the greatest scientific discoveries of last generation, the invention of fruit preserves. Founded by Sgt. Armbrad of Basingstoke, Blarmalade Blunday gets it's unusual name from a speech impediment that caused him to be completely unable to pronounce the letter 'm' at the start of a word. Armbrad discovered the art of preserving fruit after an enormous radioactive blast caused a pulverised nectarine and a bag of sugar to somehow combine on a molecular level. These days the same method is used, which is why jam making is such a dangerous profession, and should never be attempted at home.
Opposite Day (CLASSIFIED)
That's right, Opposite Day isn't just a ruse your friends and family member used to pull on you. Allocated with the mysterious Tlentifiti calendar (which has long been forgotten), only a handful of officials and whippets know when this actually occurs. In my efforts of discovering this day, I also uncovered the date of this event, but for the sake of my own safety I cannot repeat it to you. If you should find me acting suspiciously on a particular day of the year, you'll know why.
*The missionary is so last winter
To celebrate the death of St. Valentine (that's right, he died on this day), I've rooted through records and peeked under rugs for all of the events that have fallen out of tradition in modern society, so we can start reliving the good old celebrations of yore. Aren't I lovely?
Harrington Sunday (2nd Sunday of July)
Named after sir Harrington Harrington, Harrington Sunday is the one day of the year which is dedicated to the recycling of all organic and synthetic mucus. For one day a year, the descendants of sir Harrington collect the nation's mucus, and turn it into a delicious and nutritious broth, to be served to anyone who wishes for it. The ceremony was sadly dropped after NHS reports deemed the practice 'unhygienic'.
Postman's Day (26th January)
In years gone by, it was customary on this date for the people of Wales to be conscripted into the role of postmen and postladies, and to deliver small gifts to their leader, Lord Cardiff. Cardiff has of course passed on since this tradition was exercised, and so did the celebrations. The Welsh are now free to do as they please on this day.
Dilworthering (3rd October)
On this merry day, it was (and still is in certain parts of Lancashire) traditional to approach young and attractive strangers in the street and engage in sexual congress in the traditional Dilworthian way (on a tandem). Memories of this day ring clearly in the minds of famous persons such as the Duke of Wellington, Frank Sinatra, and of course Anubis, god of the afterlife.
Blarmalade Blunday (5th Monday of November)
Almost unheard of these days, Blarmalade Blunday is the anniversary of one of the greatest scientific discoveries of last generation, the invention of fruit preserves. Founded by Sgt. Armbrad of Basingstoke, Blarmalade Blunday gets it's unusual name from a speech impediment that caused him to be completely unable to pronounce the letter 'm' at the start of a word. Armbrad discovered the art of preserving fruit after an enormous radioactive blast caused a pulverised nectarine and a bag of sugar to somehow combine on a molecular level. These days the same method is used, which is why jam making is such a dangerous profession, and should never be attempted at home.
Opposite Day (CLASSIFIED)
That's right, Opposite Day isn't just a ruse your friends and family member used to pull on you. Allocated with the mysterious Tlentifiti calendar (which has long been forgotten), only a handful of officials and whippets know when this actually occurs. In my efforts of discovering this day, I also uncovered the date of this event, but for the sake of my own safety I cannot repeat it to you. If you should find me acting suspiciously on a particular day of the year, you'll know why.
*The missionary is so last winter
4 February 2011
Fix You
Is it really that easy? I've always been very sympathetic towards people struggling with addictions, be it gambling, alcohol or (most commonly) smoking. Usually they get pressured into trying it, and before they know it they aren't able to go a day without at least thinking about their vice. I understand that nobody (with half a brain) wants to be addicted to anything, and I myself haven't fallen prey to any such raptures, I simply don't have the patience or determination, but I had thought the other day...
How does someone become addicted to something?
Obviously the thrill is the main factor, and becoming reliant on it to remain in equilibrium taking a firm second, and all those lovely chemical reactions that make our brains so delightfully interesting and complicated are interlaced into the whole palaver, but why are certain people more susceptible to the clutches of addiction than others? Is it a biological reason or is it ourely down to willpower? Is it perhaps the same drive that causes people to commit heinous crimes? I decided to investigate and present to you some fairly conclusive facts and statistics* which you can read exclusively here:
7/20 men under the age of 25 are addicted to embroidery
50% of women are metaphysical kleptomaniacs
Hedgehogs are unable to perform any act of sin
7 in 3 people gamble using primary school maths skills
Vegetarians are actually just addicted to performing acts of indecency with botanical paraphernalia and posting them on internet forums
25% of all alcoholics make up one quarter of all those addicted to alcohol
All but one of drugs in the class A category contain sheep's tears
Those who are addicted to wool are referred to on the news as 'paedophiles'
23% of latex bondage gear is based on fossilised stone blueprints
Suicide is the most effective method for giving up smoking
The word 'addict' derives the Greek 'adicctus horridium', meaning someone who dips one's testicles in hot porridge
After extensive analysis of the facts above, I simply cannot determine whether addiction is a mental or physical anomaly. You're going to have to draw your own conclusion I'm afraid, I can't do everything for you.
*All of the facts in this article are true, apart from this one
How does someone become addicted to something?
Obviously the thrill is the main factor, and becoming reliant on it to remain in equilibrium taking a firm second, and all those lovely chemical reactions that make our brains so delightfully interesting and complicated are interlaced into the whole palaver, but why are certain people more susceptible to the clutches of addiction than others? Is it a biological reason or is it ourely down to willpower? Is it perhaps the same drive that causes people to commit heinous crimes? I decided to investigate and present to you some fairly conclusive facts and statistics* which you can read exclusively here:
7/20 men under the age of 25 are addicted to embroidery
50% of women are metaphysical kleptomaniacs
Hedgehogs are unable to perform any act of sin
7 in 3 people gamble using primary school maths skills
Vegetarians are actually just addicted to performing acts of indecency with botanical paraphernalia and posting them on internet forums
25% of all alcoholics make up one quarter of all those addicted to alcohol
All but one of drugs in the class A category contain sheep's tears
Those who are addicted to wool are referred to on the news as 'paedophiles'
23% of latex bondage gear is based on fossilised stone blueprints
Suicide is the most effective method for giving up smoking
The word 'addict' derives the Greek 'adicctus horridium', meaning someone who dips one's testicles in hot porridge
After extensive analysis of the facts above, I simply cannot determine whether addiction is a mental or physical anomaly. You're going to have to draw your own conclusion I'm afraid, I can't do everything for you.
*All of the facts in this article are true, apart from this one
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)