"Hark!" I hear you cry, "You posted a very similar entry telling people how to enjoy themselves when they're alone, surely you're not going to simply repeat this?" - A terrible accusation. No, I will instead be giving you the DOs and DON'Ts of half term life, which isn't the same, because last time it was a 'Top of the Pops' style list.
So just sit back, put your reading glasses on and bathe in the following 'wisdom':
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DO remember the day of the week. All too soon the weekend will approach and your pants will have all the wrong days on them.
DON'T wake up too late. Yes, I know it's very tempting to have a nice long lie in, but long lie ins have been proven to lead to back pain, high cholesterol, and unexplained loss of teeth.
DO help out your dear old parents. It's hard for them, they have to pretend to work every day of the week, and seeing you watching Tom and Jerry naked in a puddle of urine is only going to make them jealous.
DON'T let any other siblings control you. Stand tall, stand firm, and let them know that you're in charge. Fail to do so and the atomic structure of the calcium in your teeth could completely collapse, resulting in the Helvetica Scenario.
DO use public transport. I know it's inconvenient and a health hazard, but public transport is the sole source of power for Boris Johnson. Travel by bus enough and Boris will be able to overthrow every other country in the world with his superhuman powers*.
DON'T become a hermit. Your friends are just as lonely, bad at spelling and sexually unfulfilled as you are. Don't leave you or them out, organise yourselves a lovely orgy.
DO count your blessings. You don't know what you've got until it's gone, so remember to remind yourself how lucky you are. Unless you don't have many, in which case it's probably just going to depress you. Bring on the ice cream and razorblades, or better still, razorblade flavoured ice cream.
And finally,
DON'T for the love of God leave your 'specialist' magazines around your friend's house. It's more trouble than its worth. Worse still, they might not tell you and keep it for themselves.
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With this, all your troubles will be gone, and Britain will be great once more.
