This leaves me in a very difficult position, for I like to uphold the traditional values of this country and behave as gentlemanly as possible. Sometimes I would prefer not to do the honourable thing and simply do what is easiest for me, but nine times out of ten I will ignore my petty desires in order to make the woman in my company happy, which is more than I can say for a majority of the male population these days. Everywhere I turn I see more and more witless wankers with gormless expressions picking their noses and letting doors swing shut on the mother with the pushchair behind them. It takes little to no effort to hold a door open for a few seconds longer than you would have done, and let's face it, they're hardly likely to need to be anywhere. However, this is merely trivial in the light of my other point.
The amount of times I've had my female friends approach me in tears because of a bloke is staggering. These nanny-shagging tossmongers* seem to lack the empathy to even realise that using and then leaving a girl is heartbreaking and scarring. I was absolutely disgusted by what my friend relayed to me after hearing two blokes talking to each other:
"So what are you going to do about her?"
"I don't know, I just want to shag her and get her out of the way"
Before we go any further, I am going to admit that I have not lived my life bereft of one-night stands. The difference being that I have never strung a girl along purely for sex. No-strings-attached sex is a very appealing and enticing proposition, I'm not going to deny it, and as long as both parties are willing, it's perfectly acceptable. It become unacceptable when one party (mainly the girl but it has happened to lads as well) believes that they are forging a relationship. As you know/can imagine, this scenario leads to all sorts of very serious ramifications.
I'm not suggesting that every man becomes a saint overnight, but next time you pass through a door, hold it open for people following you or coming the other way, help someone pick up their bags if they fall, or even just smile and say thank you when you buy something from a shop. These also apply to all you ladies out there. Chivalry is 90% manners, and manners don't cost a thing.
*© Bill Bailey
